Wednesday, October 31, 2018

The Halloween Contest from Hell

So, this happened.

This year the organization I work in decided to have a Halloween office door decorating contest. The workers in one office quickly had their door decorated with store-bought signs ("Abandon all hope, ye who enter!" etc.), cardboard skeletons, and the like the week before Halloween. I guess they figured they had the contest nailed since no one else decorated their door. At least until yesterday, two days before Halloween.

My office mates and I had planned our decoration last week but weren't able to actually make it until yesterday (work happens). Our design was completely homemade (office-made?). The main feature was the backend of a witch flying her broomstick into the door. A brush hot-glued to a Pringles can was the broomstick. Her legs dangling down were made from fiberboard packing material from an inkjet printer cartridge. Her shoes were hand crafted from construction paper, as were other parts. A crepe paper cape finished the witch.

But the hapless witch wasn't just flying into a random door. An oversized printout of a compliance standard we have to follow covered the door, with a construction paper mouth and teeth swallowing the off-course witch. So we had originality, creativity, and workplace relevance.

Since our office is at the end of a corridor and we don't get as much foot traffic as the other office, one of my office mates sent an email to the organization reminding everyone to vote in the contest and pointing out that a fantastic "piece of modern art" was now available for viewing on our door.

Well this apparently did not go over well with at least one of the other office's occupants.

Within an hour this person was going around the organization personally reminding everyone to GO VOTE NOW! and to vote for their door decoration. When we learned of this vile naked electioneering of course a couple of my office mates took to the corridors to counter the threat.

From there factions began forming. One person accosted us and told us she was offended by our use of a witch on the door (we had no idea she was Wiccan). Another told us our use of the a facsimile of the standard was insubordinate. Several times we had to fix the witch's cape because someone had lifted it (perverts!).

Others supported our decoration. Sometimes we had to push our way through the crowd outside our door, chuckling at the idea of a witch being eaten by that standard.

But then we noticed people discussing the doors in the hallways. Sometimes in low tones, other times you could hear what they said.

"That witch is the best! How can you support that derivative door full of pre-printed hobgoblins over the craftsmanship of the witch? It's three-dimensional! It' obvious which one to vote for!"

"That witch is so hokey! It doesn't look real at all! And using the standard like that? It's insulting! They should be fired! It's obvious which one to vote for!"

Informal polls showed the election was neck and neck. No one could know which door would win until the final tally was taken on Halloween day.

No one expected the third, late entry would upend the entire election.

Late on the day before Halloween our supervisor decorated his door.

All votes prior to the morning of Halloween were declared void and voting restarted.

By mid afternoon Halloween day the results were in.

Our supervisor had won the door decorating contest--

--with a single pre-printed cardboard Jack O'Lantern taped to his door.

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